29-IX-1972.

On 27th lots of folks at DC-99. More works, awful coffee.

Bad good time in the evening, Ema finally hooked with the third guy, and one which may be a good chick otherwise got hooked on me... well wrong style, sister, nylon stockings with high heels on above ankle bell bottoms may be some fashion but that's not my gang. And literally found nothing in common with her, doesn't go, doesn't inspire. And then it turns out I should keep company to one soldier while she goes for a quick grab with his friend... well ciao.

Helter skelter in the school today. They turn the other leaf. Any infraction brings expulsion. Toilet is not a smokeroom anymore, haircut is mandatory, and as crazy as they got they may yet invent work uniforms for us.

In IV₄ it's specially bad, some guys may have to cut hair second time. For two years we lived like small gods, and now there seems to be a directive from above to sharpen up, all in line with the speech by Stane Dolanc that things should be tightened up. He meant prevention of crime in economy, to discipline the work, true that. And what happens - the girls' toilet gets stuck with cigarette buts, director gets a nervous breakdown for that, and now retaliation follows. It started with scolding the girls in 3rd and 4th grade, and there's a rumor that certain Lungur was expelled. Must be our hairs were obstacle to economy.

In the evening it got more complicated around Ema. I wrote her off, but kept abreast of the development of the plot. Sima the cop was issuing more warnings - one to CD, one to the Paštaonda singer. Welcome to the warned club.

I just had to ask her whether she made up her mind. "Nothing yet", she said. "Well do you know, at all, what you want?" "I don't." I would have been seriously amazed if the answer was anything else. Though, the way she said "you don't really have to... wait", it sounded like... "don't drop this one". Stayed to see who'll the escort be. Wow, it's CD. He's some reporter now, though still in charge of green market only.

Went to misdemeanor court today to give a statement. Didn't write any of that down, who gives any shit about a blown up quasi event from three months ago, it was just going through the motions, but I remember that the minutes didn't contain what I said, but rather how the judge*** retold what he heard. Okay, I thought, if ever I get called on what's in that paper, I can calmly say that these are not my words, I would never say something like that, not in those words.

I had whole day justified as a witness, so didn't go to school even though it was finished before nine. Tried to kill some time, went to the club, but had nothing to read, then went looking for the Paštaonda drummer, didn't find him, tried anything just to avoid school.

Afternoon, at DC-99, distributed films (I guess fresh), then CD, Skule and I went to see Aćim but he wasn't at home. Then went to radio club to shoot a radio-chess match. The idiots take half an hour to invent an extension cord. Some guy gave me nausea, bragging about his camera to the tune of "did I invest my money well", while asking whether there's a camera which pays off better. You got no clue, buddy.

My folks went to Romania, to buy food and a mouth organ, which I'll barter with Vasa for a block flute (he also plays guitar). In the evening, found the disco remodeled, now there's the deejay's cabin and a plank wall around it and it's somehow better laid out for dancing, but eh, wish I had hair. The sound equipment is new but mono (though I don't remember ever hearing stereo on the old one), the lights don't dance anymoree. Found that drummer. Went home early.

Mom is afraid that I don't get made into a firebrand again, like 1969, and get hosed for no good reason. We talked at length, and it turns out that it's all for nothing, the work, the achievements, stuffing my head, building my self in all possible ways, when all of it still gives me no rights to manage the outer side of my own head, when any prof can send me to a haircut (sending away counts as an unjustified absence). When will we move to substantial things if we have to fight so long about the minor ones. Even dad once wore longer hair, in a different fashion and for different reasons, and had three haircuts in four days. Now we need to learn to fight, when if not now. Because at thirty one becomes conservative (yup, that mantra also arrived from somewhere). And about social norms, they may change as early as tomorrow.

Then I meant to just sit in my room and cry it out, all the frustration and the heels I drank, but no, don't know how anymore. Didn't work last time either. Could be something's wrong with me, if I am unable to cry.

On sunday shot some competition of radio amateurs, the fox hunt. One guy from Novi recognized me from before. Gavra tagged along.

Afternoon, unbelievable, sat and learned. Veca and Sneca came, had some fun with them. Last minute bath, hair still wet, so dad drove me almost to Dom. Looked for the drummer again but didn't find him; had some fun with Vasa, failed with that sweet chick from II/6 (or is it III/6 now? - if I remembered who she was, I'd know). And then it was "who catches what", but the lights stayed on. Traditionally, all lights except red would be turned off. Got a good laugh when the deejay said "can't turn off the lights this time, by order of Sima the cop". And true, he finally managed to get Ema to dance. Of course everyone was looking at them, good fun for all.

Met B.N. from IV₄. Says their plan is to boycott the professors with silence. Then R. came and I talked with her a lot, while I'm still mad at everything. I must maintain the anger, not let it pass so easily. We get used to things too fast.

Monday, 2nd, shorter classes and then a student body was formed, which would sit on the staff meetings, with perhaps some say in the future, when we develop a responsible attitude to the school's inventory (so the shit comes from the toilet). Meanwhile "sit quiet and ask only when I answer you".

Afternoon, downtown with parents, finally bought the "Time" album. Went home, gave it a spin, then dash to town again.

The Paštaondas are all against each other. One guitar player keeps bitching about his new Vox. Drank some czar Lazar behind the curtain with the other one during the break. Dunno how good an emperor he was, but he knew wine. Had fun walking home with Tejka, though very very fast, she almost peed in.

These days I always had a stack of photos with me, including some of my own, of those we shot in the club's lab while painting it, in that shirt from Trdža*. Some chicks from IV₃ looking at them, and one says, not seeing that I'm around, „wow look how bloody he's here, but see him in nature...“. Then she felt bad about it and was very nice to me to recoup that, ...but she has a frajer.

On tuesday Sredljak brought his cassetter and I packed a cassette for Inge all afternoon.

Višnja wants to reheat the sarma with that Lj. guy. She's insane, the guy is an airfuck.

Wednesday, 3rd. In the staff room, the representatives of the third grade are Hazim and I. Don't know who elected us. Watched Polanski's „Cul-de-sac“. Well he's nuts, all kudos.

On thursdays hunted the pillars** of Dom and various others to pay for pictures, got some. Tejka got all over me and in strict confidence told me how Višnja blabbers arround how I'm infatuated with her all the way through, almost kissing the ground she walks and such, and don't let her do that. Well let her, I think to myself, she isn't really exaggerating much, and on the other hand I'm chasing her now for sheer curiosity's sake, to see what would it be like if it would have been. That's not serious anymore, not for quite a while. And if the bragging rights mean anything to her, well she may have them. Had it worked, I'd probably be horribly disappointed. Okay, I partly made her into it myself, and if she got haughty from that, that's her problem.

Still, I started avoiding her next day. In the afternoon, Miljka and Tejka came, so the former would copy the Korni and Tajm. Then to Prleski for a baklava, got rained soaked completely on on the way back, through the jacket and sweater. Didn't hinder my going to disco in the evening again, a least I got the rest of the money out of Paštaondas.

On saturday, 7th, found a little one to dance with, cute profile but quite nothing else, doesn't speak nor has any looks from any other side. Evaded her under pretext of spotting someone owing me money, but the deejay then played „Helpless“ and then „Almost cut my hair“... hit my wire, it was all so flat to me, so I danced with her again. Went eventually east and then back to her, and asked my gang at times how to get rid of her. Found the excuse in having promised D.M. to escort her. True, I fled at 21:30 and the promise was for 22:00, but I spent the time behind the stage with the Paštaondas. Had some wine with them, promised to bring them the crazy hat for the next day.

And then I really found D.M. and escorted her. She complained how Š. was disgusting and she has no eyes to see him, but can't think of a cultured way to unhook him. Exactly my problem today.

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* Even cities may have nicknames. This is Trieste.

** internal joke, „pillars of Dom“ are the orderlies, Kuža and other bouncers

*** there couldn't be more than three or four lower court judges, so it's that much possible that the guy was Ruška's father

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Mentions: 07-VI-1968., DC-99, Dom omladine, Dušan Zlajin (Skule), frajer, Gavrilo Taroški (Gavra), Gradivoj Sredljev (Sredljak), Hazim Jabučin, Inge Hertmann (Inge), IV₃, IV₄, Milan Šebrcan (Aćim), Novi Sad, Pa šta onda, Prleski, Ružica Bajin (Ruška), sarma, Slavica Tejin (Tejka), Smiljka Grajin (Miljka), Snežana Stojanović (Sneca), Vasa Šančev, Vera Stojanović (Veca), Višnja Lazin, in serbian

23-I-2021 - 9-X-2025