27-V-1972.
(pic: this time they made dorms out of classrooms; we got air mattresses and blankets to sleep on, some assembly required; the two guys from the left are that extra unit of DC-99; the fourth isn't ours)
The amateur film festival in Kula began on 26th. All of three films submitted by DC-99 (two of them actually my solo projects) won some prizes, don't remember which did which. And we did appear in force, though mostly not seriously, rather like just for fun. "Portrait" was the best feature film and a special one for fluttery etc direction; "Progressive" bronze among experimentals and medal for editing; "Can not" a silver from Narodna Tehnika and the club as a whole for "freshness of cinematic expression". We made a killing in the idea.
But, Melanija. I was completely certain that I will see her. First two encounters were so-so, and only during the informative juniors projections I sat next to her, somewhere in the back, and we started talking. Zigzagged anywhere with it, just to jump back into it. Pretty soon (outside now, or in the lobby) it was like we are continuing yesterday's conversation. About just everything, including how I made the movies, and my traffic cop etc. Then one of those two external members of DC-99 (the older one, idiot) came up and mocked her a little, tried to scare her up with some questions, but got sent off. He was astonished - so young, dashing, intelligent and yet deeply understanding things and isn't shy to say what she thinks.
Then they took us to show us where we'll sleep (some school, air mattresses that we'd have to blow ourselves), and she was next door. One of the hosts offered to take us to a "disco chicken coop", so I invited her to come along. Reluctantly, she agreed to perhaps half an hour. And so we went. And it was wonderful. The place was hot, packed and tucked in, smelled decently, had a tape recorder with good music. The decoration was just 30mm wide plastic tapes in bright colors, such as were used on tavern doors against flies, this time hanging from the ceiling to about a meter above the floor, creating virtual rooms. It was her first evening in a disco. Doesn't dance at school dance parties. There was a tiny window above the place where we stood, and we observed the moon traveling through clouds. One guy from DC-99 tried to stay with us but it dawned on him to vanish, and he did.
The music was loud enough that I had to come really close to her, yet I somehow managed not to touch her, fearing to break the magic.
Though, I remember we danced once. Not quite leaning on each other, but still.
...
Between the projections and the announcement of the winners, I even got interviewed for the (Novi) TV, what with the cap. Don't remember anything, including that it ever happened. Don't even know if I saw myself on the screen, wouldn't know when would that be anyway. They also interviewed some girl from, I think, B. Topola, who also did some interesting work.
...
Don't remember what else we talked, there was a lot of it. But this was the right thing. True.
Later when her teachers appeared on the horizon we snuck in. It was general fun, as always in such improvised dorms. Her dorm was in the staff room. Mika Putnik came and let a few hints into the unofficial public air, about DC-99 being almost a new school of film thought, miracle in itself. Bukac again fired his "idi pišaj pa se stišaj" (go pee and quiet down) at Morava dozens of times.
Next day, on projections, we sat in the back again, and talked more and more.
Then I said my parents will come to pick me up, I should introduce her. What do they know about me? They know who your parents are, they are famous scientist, at least dad knows about them by area of study. They know your name, from envelopes. They mostly guessed, they don't read my mail. Sometimes they ask what you write, and I use my right to not tell.
Stage fright passed when she saw them. Then her teachers gathered them and they didn't split neither at the prizes ceremony, nor later. We just... parted.
That was my first case of the fabled butterflies in the belly. She loves me.
Brought home a poster, announcing the festival, and later put it on the rear wall of dad's garage.
Like I said, we never touched. Just shook hands each time and talked, talked. The next day it was the same pretty old street of mine, same building sites, same kids going to school, it's just me who wasn't the same. She changed me somehow.
Came to school, found Višnja and shouted Višnja, we won!". This was a merry encounter, I even kissed her, congratulations came from everywhere. Then after the last break I had a moment when I realized how much time I lost making too much mockery, and that it's about time to get serious. And I got to talk with Višnja, completely ignoring D.M. and two others. Told her what just came to my mind, mentioned Melanija and how serious it got, and that I'll need a few days to come down from that mood. And then... She said "It's nice to be enamored" "well no no, we meet once a year, that's not it... I mean you" - so I asked her again. "What did you say? Are you nuts, I have a boyfriend" "but I saw him alone, heard a rumor... it kind of fit" "I can't get out every day, and... just disregard the rumors. We stay friends, okay?" "Okay" "And don't bother trying again". Okay, got the message. Just had to try, riding on the moment.
Thought things over for a couple of days. Then went to post office and telephoned Melanija. She thanked me for everything, and I to her. We don't know whether we're in love or what this is. It'll pass.
After this we started exchanging letters again, which lasted for perhaps a year. Her diagnosis, near the end of it, was a dedication in a book by Mika Antić that she gave me, "to Džekson, whom I loved in the opposite times". Which I didn't quite understand, what's opposite time? She said "you loved me when I didn't love you and the other way around".
Trying with another girl right now would be like trampling fresh flowers (but I did it two days ago anyway...). Perhaps just forget everything until next encounter.
Mentions: DC-99, Gradivoj Buković (Bukac), Gradivoj Jankić (Morava), Melanija Tisarević, Novi Sad, Višnja Lazin, in serbian