After midnight on doček at Gavra's the madness continued. Few rounds of guests dropped by - first Dragana and Š. (how did that happen) whereby he soon left and she stayed. Then Ksenija with boyfriend, two younger chicks and then P.L. could be mentioned too though it might echo wrongly in the press (which is an injoke - he was the editor-in-chief of the 2nd gimnazija newspaper, so competition and a colleague; they sent theirs to print after we did but theirs printed first as they knew the trick, passed a bottle of vinjak to the printers; they will be outsmarted next time).
Among interesting events there was a sleepy guy who took the armchair on the stage (the big room was in two levels), so we parked sound boxes around him, turned it up quite high, then laid the microphone on an alarm clock and let it ring at 30W raw musical power. He leaped quite high.
We stayed until seven. Among the better sunrises I ever saw. Branka insisted that both Milica's cousin and I escort her (now this was weird...). An icy košava was blowing and we froze alive by the time we got there. Then wa sat in comfort, her dad kept pouring vinjaks so we got drunk again. Before it fully hit us, I had the wise idea to try his remington electric shaver. By the time I got the hang of it, the 2nd vinjak got of me, so I scraped my chin a lot. Then we even started singing something as if on a choir rehearsal with mamamamamama, then switched to intercity*. Came home at 8:30, slept until 15:30. Woke up a few times, and finally understood that the sun won't be coming up soon, it had just set.
Appeared at Proleter at 19:30, carrying a bag with four liters of pickles. At Gavra the majstors were still messing around the amps, and still only one channel. Pickles were welcome, disco programme got even better, anyone grabbed what they had. Hazim was already without G.M. I mostly laid back with Branka under my head. She got, she said. So we're safe.
Hazim escorted her, they're neighbors. I stayed to enjoy lemonades, mustard, franks etc. Beštara gave me a ride around 4 (had a motorbike already). In the bag I had the regula and them shoes, the club hat on my head. Couldn't find the key in its place, so jumped over the gate.
On 2nd, in the afternoon, just when I thought of taking a nap, Dragana and Duca came. Played two whole rounds of lorum. When they left, they met Tejka at the gate. When she also left, I took a bus to Branka. Once there, it was all different from before, no trace of the good atmosphere of two days ago, even she looked twice as old and... I took some newspaper and read them thoroughly.
While waiting for the bus my tongue untied. So I told her a lot, how she's too serious, her speech sounds alien, not her words, that I wish to act out some craziness, some younger, less serious and naive one, even if I hit my head on a wall with that, it's my head, and you keep telling me it'll be better in the summer (and by summer you'd not be in the picture anyway, for summer I want freedom). She confessed she cheated on me a little with some guy R. but they just kissed. I was actually only her third guy, among those that would count.
We kept silent on the bus. At the disco she stung me with just two things. One, when she said the best was yet to come. Second, that she served only so that I could learn some things, which is what I said but with a nasty twist. Just the same, it was clear to me that I don't love her anymore, ever since I'd keep thinking of other girls while walking home, or while we fucked. This was inevitable, I can't pretend for too long, it would get worse later. And I know what's in my head. She tried to change my mind but no, it vanished.
Later, when I was thinking about the whole affair, I gained some deeper insight into my then behavior. Chronologically first but last on my mind was the fact that she caught me, almost by a trick. Which wasn't the first time, even that thing last summer looked just like a little two minute deal among the girls. But then with all the sex it went just too easy. And no contraception... where you never know how it will go, can happen in two, three or ten months, doesn't matter. I know I wouldn't run away had it happened, but I did feel a huge relief when it didn't. And then all that dowry stuffing, the golden tooth, the furniture, fur coat, never wears trousers, and calls me "little boss" for having the club keys. Hello there, this is a club, there's no boss, I'm president this year, next year it's someone else. But what, does she expect me to grow a carreer through some hierarchy out there and provide her with better than she already has? I'm not the guy, that is not the life I want. And then always on the wind, getting ill too often. As if the nature is sending me a message.
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* međugradski autobus - intercity bus, starogradske melodije - the old urban music, what was the pop music of XIX and first half of XX century.